Chapter V
Then Callias: Our eyes are on you, Critobulus. Yours to
enter the lists[1] against the champion Socrates, who
claims the prize of beauty. Do you hesitate?
[1]
Soph. "Fr." 234; Thuc. i. 93.
Soc. Likely enough he does, for possibly he sees
Sir Pandarus stands high in their esteem who are the judges of the contest.
In
spite of which (retorted Critobulus),
I am not for drawing back.[2] I am ready; so come on, and if you have any
subtle argument to prove that you are handsomer than I am, now's your time,
instruct us. But just stop one minute; have the goodness, please, to bring the
lamp a little closer.
[2]
Or, "I do; but all the same, I am not for shirking." Cf. Aristoph.
"Frogs," 860, {etiomos eum egoge, kouk anaduomai, daknein}: "I'm
up to it; I am resolved" (Frere); Dem. "de F. Leg." 406 20:
"His resolution never reached that point, but shrank back, for his
conscience checked it" (Kennedy).
Soc. Well then, I call upon you first of all, as party to this
suit, to undergo the preliminary examination.[3]
Attend to what I say, and please be good enough to answer.
[3]
The {anakrisis}, or "previous inquiry" (before one of the archons) of
parties concerned in a suit, to see whether the action lay. Cf. Plat. "Charm." 176 C. See Gow,
"Companion," xiv. 74.
Crit. Do you be good enough yourself to put your questions.
Soc. Do you consider that the quality of beauty is confined to man,
or is it to be found in other objects also? What is your belief on this point?
Crit. For my part, I consider it belongs alike to
animals--the horse, the ox--and to many things inanimate: that is to say, a
shield, a sword, a spear are often beautiful.
Soc. How is it possible that things, in no
respect resembling one another, should each and all be beautiful?[4]
[4]
See "Mem." III. viii. 5, quoted by Galen, "de Usu Part." i.
370.
Crit. Of course it is, God bless me! if well
constructed by the hand of man to suit the sort of work for which we got them,
or if naturally adapted to satisfy some want, the things in either case are beautiful.
Soc. Can you tell me, then, what need is
satisfied by our eyes?
Crit. Clearly, the need of
vision.
Soc. If so, my eyes are proved at once to be
more beautiful than yours.
Crit. How so?
Soc. Because yours can only see just straight in
front of them, whereas mine are prominent and so projecting, they can see
aslant.[5]
[5]
Or, "squint sideways and command the flanks."
Crit. And amongst all animals, you will tell us that the crab has
loveliest eyes?[6] Is that your statement?
[6]
Or, "is best provided in respect of eyeballs."
Soc. Decidedly, the creature has. And all the
more so, since for strength and toughness its eyes by nature are the best
constructed.
Crit. Well, let that pass. To come to our two
noses, which is the more handsome, yours or mine?
Soc. Mine, I imagine, if, that is, the gods
presented us with noses for the sake of smelling. Your nostrils point to earth;
but mine are spread out wide and flat, as if to welcome scents from every
quarter.
Crit. But consider, a snubness of the nose, how
is that more beautiful than straightness?[7]
[7]
Or, "your straight nose." Cf. Plat. "Theaet."
209 C: Soc. "Or, if I had further known you not only as having nose and
eyes, but as having a snub nose and prominent eyes, should I have any more
notion of you than myself and others who resemble me?" Cf. also Aristot.
"Pol." v. 9, 7: "A nose which varies from the ideal of
straightness to a hook or snub may still be a good shape and agreeable to the
eye; but if the excess be very great, all symmetry is lost, and the nose at
last ceases to be a nose at all on account of some excess in one direction or
defect in the other; and this is true of every other part of the human body.
The same law of proportion holds in states."--Jowett.
Soc. For this good reason, that a snub nose does
not discharge the office of a barrier;[8] it allows the orbs of sight free
range of vision: whilst your towering nose looks like an insulting wall of
partition to shut off the two eyes.[9]
[8]
Or, "the humble snub is not a screen or barricade."
[9]
Cf. "Love's Labour Lost," v. 2. 568: Boyet. "Your nose says no,
you are not, for it stands too right"; also "The Song of
Solomon," vii. 4: "Thy nose is the
As
to the mouth (proceeded Critobulus),
I give in at once; for, given mouths are made for purposes of biting, you could
doubtless bite off a much larger mouthful with your mouth than I with mine.
Soc. Yes, and you will admit, perhaps, that I
can give a softer kiss than you can, thanks to my thick lips.
Crit. It seems I have an uglier mouth than any
ass.
Soc. And here is a fact which you will have to
reckon with, if further evidence be needed to prove that I am handsomer than
you. The naiads, nymphs, divine, have as their progeny Sileni, who are much
more like myself, I take it, than like you. Is that
conclusive?
Nay,
I give it up (cried Critobulus), I have not a word to say in answer. I am silenced. Let
them record the votes. I fain would know at once what I must suffer or must pay.[10] Only (he added) let them vote in secret.[11] I am
afraid your wealth and his (Antisthenes') combined may overpower me.
[10]
For this formula see "Dict. Ant." {timema}.
Cf. "Econ." xi. 25; Plat. "Apol."
36 B; "Statesm." 299 A; "Laws,"
freq.; Dem. 529. 23; 533. 2.
[11]
And not as in the case described (Thuc. iv. 74), where the people (at
Accordingly
the boy and girl began to register the votes in secret, while Socrates directed
the proceedings. He would have the lamp- stand[12] this time brought close up
to Critobulus; the judges must on no account be taken in; the victor in the
suit would get from the two judges, not a wreath of ribands[13] for a chaplet,
but some kisses.
[12]
{ton lukhnon} here, above, S. 2, {ton lamptera}. Both, I take it, are oil-lamps, and differ merely as "light" and
"lamp."
[13]
Cf. Plat. "Symp." 213;
"Hell." V. i. 3.
When
the urns were emptied, it was found that every vote, without exception, had
been cast for Critobulus.[14]
[14]
Lit. "When the pebbles were turned out and proved to be with Critobulus,
Socrates remarked, 'Papae!'" which is as much to say, "Od's
pity!"
Whereat Socrates: Bless me! you don't say so? The coin you
deal in, Critobulus, is not at all like that of
Callias. His makes people just; whilst yours, like other filthy lucre, can
corrupt both judge and jury.[15]
[15]
{kai dikastas kai kritas}, "both jury and presiding judges," i.e. the
company and the boy and girl.
.